Friday night, en route to a concert I was reviewing for my music blog, I noticed an ad on the TTC subway system that inspired disgust and anger. The ad promoted JFJ Hope Centre, which also displayed support from the omnipresent Bus Stop Bible Studies. What is the JFJ Hope Centre? Let’s ask them:
Formerly known as Jewels For Jesus Mission and Jewels For Jesus Adoption Agency, our organization has been compassionately caring for families and children in the province of Ontario since 1948.
JFJ Hope Centre offers support and education related to unplanned pregnancies and parenting struggles in a caring Christian environment.
This in and of itself is not the problem with the ad. I fully support the freedom for organizations such as this to advertise on the TTC, with one caveat: the ad must not make a non-Christian feel judged or “lesser than” in any way. The ad currently on the system features a sad, young couple and the above information. Had they stopped there, I would be content. But then, they had to go that further step:
“Adoption is the loving choice.”
Now I’m pissed. I look at an ad that touts a “nonjudgmental environment” and point out how sooty-black the pot is from the perspective of this kettle.
Adoption is a choice, and a valid one. Many unplanned pregnancies end in this choice, and I support it. A good friend of mine has adopted three children and gives them an incredible amount of love and joy. She is truly a Supermom and in the case of those families, adoption ended in a very positive way.
However, giving a child up at birth does not always end happily. Children may enter foster homes that are unfortunately abusive, or group homes with similar misery. Birth parents may spend their lives regretting their choice. Young teen girls may be forced by parents via bullying into a choice that is anything but loving.
Abortion is also a valid choice. For some, it is psychologically impossible to carry a child to term and give it away. Tokophobia, the fear of pregnancy or childbirth, makes the mere confirmation of a pregnancy a traumatic experience. Survivors of sexual violence may be further traumatized by carrying an assailant’s child to term. What is loving for the parents here?
There are parents who choose to abort because of severe birth defects that will make life painful, difficult and/or extremely short for the child if carried to term, or perhaps the child may be stillborn. It is agonizing, but they may choose out of love to abort. That may not be the Christian viewpoint of what to do in these cases, but that doesn’t negate the love behind a gesture.
Herein lays my point: just because a choice is not the preferred resolution that a Christian organization would espouse does not preclude other options from being selected out of love. To state that adoption unequivocally is the loving choice is judgmental, insulting and potentially painful for a TTC rider that has aborted in the past. As someone with friends who have aborted with very loving reasons – who live with the pain of that sacrifice – I am extremely upset that the TTC cleared this ad.
The most frustrating part is that the ad would be acceptable with a single word change. Had the ad stated, “Adoption is a loving choice”, I wouldn’t object. It is one of the choices, and it can be made out of love. In a country where abortion is legal and has been for many years, the TTC should know better.
I am more open than some out there. I am okay with religious and atheist ads alike. People are allowed to celebrate their diversity of opinions, life choices, histories, religion, race, culture, etc. That’s what makes Canada great. But do not make me feel like I am not loving, kind, or a decent person because I would make a different choice than you would. As a childfree woman by choice, I would abort if all of my many safeguards against pregnancy failed. I would do so out of love, for I know I am not a suitable mother and carry many heritable ailments I would never wish on an innocent child. If that’s not loving, I don’t know what is.
Note: comments turned off due to hateful pro-life spam (now that’s ironic).
Blogentaries and Domestica are suspended this week due to the fact I am covering the annual NXNE festival on my music blog. Between all of the panels, performances, films and trying to blog it all in timely fashion, I simply cannot be every-blog at once.
Come check out what I’ve been up to! It’s been a blast so far and the festival’s just begun.
Sometimes, a gal just doesn’t have any fucks to give when it’s time to make dinner. If she’s lucky like me, she looks at her “burns Kraft dinner” husband and pouts, which means he takes her out or orders in. Everything is beautiful and no dishes are dirtied.
(Yes, I’m excited about The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Aren’t you?)
Anyway, I thought I’d draw your attention this week to a couple of blogs specializing in the special hell that is being a server in a restaurant/bar. Learn from these wise snarky people how to be a GOOD customer – the kind that gets special treatment and is remembered with a smile when entering Boston Pizza for the 7726823672673th time in four years.
Jim Treliving should hire us and give us free food for all the cash we blow there. Anyway…
First up, the blog of a Red Lobster server somewhere in the US. I love Red Lobster. When we go, it’s when we have MONEY and want to blow it on enough food to take home a second meal and snag biscuits for the morning after. This blog is brilliant. I stumbled onto it while trying to find out when Lobsterfest was on.
Second, a blog about a chain that shall remain nameless due to the fact I know the person in question. She sees crazy shit and reports back on it, and also reblogs classics like Clerks 2. Bless her. She’s just getting started.
Ever been stuck staring at the cupboards, trying to think of a recipe for what you have on hand while also juggling diet restrictions? I have – far too often. Whenever I’m screwed, here’s my solution:
The recipes are usually great (or great with a tiny tweak) and the search options are very thorough. For someone like me with multiple restrictions who tries to eat healthier, it’s an awesome solution! Give it a whirl, and share your best finds with me.
I’ve been wanting to see this movie for a very long time. So excited to see this unique take on zombie apocalypses!
Here there be massive spoilers. You’ve been warned.